What Happy Moms Do that Unhappy Moms Don't!

               

My mission is to help working moms who suffer from anxiety and self-doubts, don’t know how to help their children succeed or build a loving relationship with their partners.

From an aspiring actress to working for airline executives to becoming a pharmacy professor and a multigenre author, I have transformed my life while balancing the role of a working mother. My book The Art of Good Enough: The Working Mom’s Guilt-Free Guide to Thriving While Being Perfectly Imperfect has been featured on MSNBC, PBS, ABC, Fox, CBS, CW, Telemundo, Thrive Global, Working Mother magazine, and The Times of India.

As a mom of a teenager, I too experienced the worries, doubts, and lack of time that make many moms feel inadequate to change their lives around. These two unique approaches helped me and other women take control of our lives:

  1. Self-analysis: to understand the root cause of their problems.
  2. Reverse engineering: to map out the action plan from ‘where they want to be’ to ‘where they are now.’

I help working moms through my books, online courses, workshops, coaching, and speaking so they know the exact steps to build confidence in their abilities to care and support their children and partners.

Dr. Ivy Ge, author, professor
anxiety and stress
creative parenting

THE SECRET TO LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE IS TO FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTHS, NOT YOUR WEAKNESSES

Interested in study findings on positive psychology, emotional, physical health, and aging, ideas to boost productivity and creativity, mind hacks to de-stress, and three-minute inside out makeover to get you through the day brilliantly?

As a health professional, I subscribe to many paid medical journals, newspapers, magazines and curate important and interesting content for my readers. Sign up for my newsletters—they’re free, come out every couple of weeks and bring you the facts and science behind a fulfilled life. 

The Four Universal Rules For Optimal Health

 I interviewed Dr. Cynthia Boccara at the Speakers Summit in Vancouver, Canada in Late June. She shared with me the four fundamental rules for optimal health: alignment, movement, chemistry, and environment. Watch the video below for details. For more information about Dr. Boccara’s work, check out her website here. 

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Sustainable Weight Loss You Can Practice At Home

I interviewed Dr. Francis Vala, a leading expert in a medically supervised weight loss in Canada. He has successfully treated thousands of patients battled with weight management. When I asked him for the three most important recommendations on weight control, he said: 1) Do not diet, because it’s not sustainable; learn how to eat properly instead. 2) Do not skip meals, so as not to trigger our metabolism to slow down. 3) Quality meals should give you 25-30 grams of protein (from meat or plants) per meal while reducing the total intake of carbohydrates. For more information about Dr. Vala’s work, please check out his page at https://www.facebook.com/Dr.FrancisVala/

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Stop Taking Yourself Seriously

Life Becomes Infinitely Better When You do… That is it.  Before you attempt anything related to mind transformation, the number one rule is to stop taking yourself seriously.  Why? The more you want to protect and defend your old identity, the less likely you’ll transform the way you think and act.  We are built differently than men. We hang on to the bad things for too long, question ourselves too often, and hold ourselves to incredibly high standards that men could never understand. Immediately after the euphoria of new motherhood, we went back to work, believing we can handle the hybrid position that requires 24/7 diligence despite mounting anxiety and the mind-numbing routine of bottles, diapers, homework, and school projects.  Picture an overweight guy in his forties riding a shiny Harley motorcycle on the freeway with loud vroom and even louder pride. His arms outstretched, his face beaming. Did he care anyone watches his love-handle jutting out of his black muscle tank? Not at all. His mind is with the sun, the wind, and the open road in front of him. Now imagine yourself sitting on a Harley, giddy for the rare occasion of a freedom ride. You feel light and free, you like the feel of the wind on your face, tossing your hair wildly. Suddenly, you become aware of the breeze brush against your midsection, and your mind zoomed in on that jiggering sensation. Is your T-shirt lifted by the wind? How much of the muffin top can others see? You struggle to remain calm while looking for the sign of the next exit. No more freedom on this ride, you see?  The truth is, no one is watching you, at least not for long. Most of us are not that interesting. Social media made us more fascinating than we deserve. The bar is set so high, it’s stressful to measure up. Can you think of anything more awful than everyone else believes you’re happy when you’re depressed and deprived? Think of the eclectic chef Anthony Bourdain, the talented actor, and comedian Robin Williams. Money and fame didn’t help these celebrities live happily to the golden age, think they would make you feel good?  You want a happier self, stop taking yourself seriously. Crack a joke about yourself if you can. No one is perfect, so why pretend? Superiority repels. The true masters make us ordinary people feel stronger and better than we are. Be genuine, it’s easier to live that way. Research shows people find those truthful and honest are disarmingly likable. The thing with lies are after you lied once, you’ll have to keep lying to get the record straight until the point you hate yourself. Every lie and excuse we give others is a brick we lay around us; eventually, the brick walls will box us in. Remember back in 2013, how Lance Armstrong finally admitted using banned performance-enhancing drugs in the seven successive Tour de France after years of denying it?   Stop thinking about how others feel about you, focus on how you feel and figure out how you can feel better. Stop pleasing the people who only want you look and behave in a certain way. They are not our true friends. If something makes you feel good, do it more often; if some people make you laugh, spend more time with them. Don’t be afraid to try out new things. New experiences give you new perspectives, either about yourself, or about life, and often both. Embrace the moment of stepping into new doors, where you’ll find more opportunities inside. Count these new experiences as blessings, as they open up your eyes to a life you’ve yet to discover. 

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The Forever Letter

Excerpt from the Section: Sometimes We Can Write What We Cannot Speak To know more about the author, please check out www.elanazaiman.com Max was in his sixties when he told me about his father, who had not been verbally communicative but who had been self-aware enough to know this about himself. To compensate for his lack of verbal communication skills, he wrote Max letters. It was through these letters that Max and his father tended their relationship.      Cora, in her fifties, said that when she was a teenager, she and her father had trouble communicating. One day she had the idea of leaving him a letter in his suitcase when he traveled on business, which he did often. It worked. He appreciated her notes and would respond from wherever his travels took him. Their letter writing continued for years, and in their letters they would out a lot of issues.      Danielle, also in her fifties, talked about her father, a judgmental man with a temper that worsened as he aged. She said that toward the end of his life he wrote a letter to his children in which he wrote things he had never been able to say in person. He wrote that he was sorry he had made mistakes, that he wasn’t the best father he could have been, that he did the best he could. He took responsibility for his fatherhood.      The Human Comedy by William Saroyan is a coming-of-age novel set in Ithaca, California, during World War II. Homer Macauley, the main character, is a boy of fourteen who longs to become a telegraph operator. Homer’s brother, Marcus, goes to fight in the war. Scared of not returning home, Marcus writes Homer a letter before heading off to the front. In this letter, Marcus passes on his possessions — his clothes, bicycle, phonograph, rock collection, fishing gear — but he also imparts his values, ideals, hopes, faith, and love. He writes about how much he misses Homer and how he hopes to see him soon. He shares his thoughts about the war, his fears about what lies ahead, and his hope to return to Ithaca, to his girlfriend, and to create a family of his own. He also officially appoints Homer as the new head of the family and expresses his belief in Homer to both carry the family forward and keep the family together. The final paragraph of Marcus’s letter begins with the words, “I can say in a letter what I could never say in speech.”      Marcus is not alone. Sometimes it’s easier for us to express our emotions in writing than it is for us to express them verbally. Today, we are witnessing a communication revolution. Our teens are out there texting away. We say this is their downfall; always on their screens, they don’t know how to talk to each other in person about stuff that matters.  Perhaps that’s true, but maybe, just maybe, we communicate more honestly and truthfully by texting and e-mailing than we do face-to-face, as recent research from the University of Nebraska reports. (Jordan Valinsky “Study: It’s Easier to Tell the Truth Over Text So Why Bother Speaking Anymore?”)      A divorced friend of mine, who spent months on the online dating scene, told me that she couldn’t believe how much she had revealed in the long e-mails she had written to men she hardly knew. She believed the anonymity of the screen enabled her to feel more comfortable, safe, open, and uninhibited than she would have felt in person.      Some of us have trouble speaking to people we love about the things that are most important to us. Perhaps it’s easier for us to write down our words. Writing a forever letter gives us the opportunity to do so.

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TED Talk: How To Raise Successful Kids Without Over Parenting

By loading kids with high expectations and micromanaging their lives at every turn, parents aren’t actually helping. At least, that’s how Julie Lythcott-Haims sees it. With passion and wry humor, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford makes the case for parents to stop defining their children’s success via grades and test scores. Instead, she says, they should focus on providing the oldest idea of all: unconditional love. Click here and watch Julie Lythcott-Haims’s TED talk and find out. 

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